We Often "Intersect"---Nate Huss, Noah & Me

I want to share the story/music of Nate Huss, a young man new to the Christian music scene. I love his music and find the message to be really encouraging. http://www.natehuss.com/

My family lived down the street from the Husses while I was in High School. I babysat Nate, Gabe & Joel---the 3 youngest Husses a few times. Nate was actually the baby. My brothers played at their house several times a week for 2 years and then visited often when they were in town after they moved to Lake Havasu.

What is even neater about this "small world" connection is the influence that Nate's mom, Sylvia, had on me as a mom. She was a great role model of a loving, Godly mom with high expectations of her children. When we had 4 or 5 kids I called her up (after several years of not being in touch) and asked if she would be willing to come over to my house and talk to me about being a mother of a large family. (I also talked to another mom I knew casually who had around 7 children at the time to get a picture of what her life and thoughts were.) Sylvia was really kind to share about her life experiences and the challenges, blessings and vision that go with having a house "full".

Gilbert and I didn't "decide" to have "X" number of children (or more than "X") after I talked to him about what these ladies shared with me. We were just feeling convicted to leave the door open to having more and not ready to decide we were "done" having kids. To talk to a woman in the next season of life, someone who "survived" raising 8 really great kids was encouraging that if we had more---it could be worthwhile & fulfilling; if we didn't/couldn't, we had plenty to keep busy and we'd never wonder if we "should have" or "would have" liked to have more children. We could stop all the crazy attempts to "plan" our family which just never seemed to go as expected and was really stressful. (And I didn't have to agonize/feel irresponsible over hating feeling sick on birth control.)

The "funny" thing is that when I stumbled across Nate's music/bio a month ago, my brother, Gene, ran into Nate's brother, Dan, while they were both out of town. Brandon encouraged me to check out Nate's music/web site. About this time I was dreading telling people that I am pregnant AGAIN.

"Yes, I think we've figured out what causes 'that'."
"Yes, I would love to have complete control over my own body & drop 50 lbs. so I could feel pleased when I look in the mirror." (How embarrassing to admit my vanity.)
"Yes, money is tight, time and energy always seem taxed, our house is feeling a little crowded, getting out the door to go places feels like launching a military campaign, I don't think my faith in God's provision will ever extend to feeling like I personally (as a mom) am doing enough/the right things for my children" etc., etc.
"No, I don't know how we do 'it' (life) either." To be really honest, I have to ask God to help me not have a panic attack when I think of how everything is going to "work" come January when the baby gets here.

But Nate Huss' message/ministry helped me dream and be delighted to be pregnant---what a neat 8th kid he is! What will our 8th and 9th be like in the course of their lifetimes? If they even do one special thing---creative, helping others, good example, have children, ??---we will be so thankful we were willing to be a part of God's plan for that child's life. And my worst nightmare is the loss of any one of the children we already have. I didn't "run out of" love/wonder/thankfulness for any of them so far.

Since I've become a Christian, at different stages in my life, I feel like I've identified with my understanding or conjecture of the lives of various "characters" in the Bible.

In the last few years I often empathize with Noah & his wife. Building a ginormous boat in the middle of the desert, in a culture that seemed extremely "non nautical", with hundreds of miles to the nearest shore, because "God told them too" makes me wonder if they felt a little of what I do.

Gilbert says he's the last person he'd expect to father any kids, let alone 9. But he's convinced he wouldn't have grown, leaned on God or learned a whole lot in life if he wasn't pushed and stretched by his desire to be a good dad (over most any other goal in his life). It really seems like teaching/caring for/loving 40 years of class fulls of kids or working at an orphanage overseas would have been "cake" for me--a temptation to run my own life with way too much pride/self-confidence. But the burden of being the mother/primary caretaker of 8 of my own dependents 24/7 pushes me continually to evaluate my choices based on long term/eternity goals vs. perfectionism and just wanting to "fit in and be normal" since my background was "anything but". Oh my goodness---I've now chosen to be "weird" and "unconventional" and give people a reason to worry about my sanity!

Isn't it so cool how God is all about diversity?

We know a couple who chose to foster/adopt their 5 kids rather than have their own biological children because so many children had a terrible family situation and needed a second chance at a loving family. I knew a couple who couldn't have children. They were so lovely to me and treated me like I was their granddaughter. They did this for several children at church who didn't have extended family or grandparents nearby. My foster mom, Beth, had one biological kid, opened her heart to a teenage girl, was willing to be grafted-in family for life to her and literally has poured out herself for high school/college kids as a teacher and is so sweet to classes and classes of toddlers at church where she volunteers. My "adopted" aunt & uncle raised 3 really wonderful kids. They put in full time hours now that they are "retired" interacting with/being supportive of their grown kids & grandkids & me & my kids and reaching out to children and adults in their neighborhood through hosting small group, a teen club & a "Christmas Carol Club".

So I actually believe we aren't "weird", we are just evidence of His creativity and the freedom Christians have to live so many variations of lifestyles. We're the ones He offered the position of "homeschooling parents with lots of very active & social kids".

And with all the work and stress and insecurity and mess and laundry and lost shoes and a crazy calendar comes some incredible perks.

It's hard to remember a day without multiple hugs & kisses & "I love you mommy/mom". I am constantly amazed at the wonder of child development and the excitement of looking forward to what they will learn or do next. I can't remember very many days of boredom or loneliness. David and I both treasure the birth days of each of our children and marvel every time at what a miracle it is and how exciting to meet this precious new little person together. So many funny things are said and done by our kids. So many times they teach us things or share their thoughts or goals or stories or ideas or big questions about life with us and I am so perfectly "at home" and content to listen or discuss or share in their lives. Each child is so unique---it's like the best summer novel to watch the story of their lives unfold. When they struggle in one area and finally grow up or out of it, when they do something sacrificial or giving for a sibling or a friend or a stranger, when they strive to do well at something---I am so lucky to have a front row seat.

I hope it helps you understand why we are open to having a large family, grateful for prayers and support as we do, insecure and wanting so hard to "get it right" and honor God in the process, and willing to run a marathon-style life that requires so much time/energy/sleep deprivation/commitment, etc.

I hope you can share our joy and excitement at expecting another baby girl or boy January 18, 2008.

Oh, and another funny coincidence. Nate Huss was placed in his family by the same agency that placed me in foster care with the people I call parents 25 years later.

Small World.