Little Ark In the Desert

What's it like?

2009-01-18T08:18:00.002-07:00

I think the most important ingredients we’ve had to have to homeschool a big family are dependence on God,
a passionate love for each child,
age appropriately disciplined children, flexibility,
and a balance between family needs and individual opportunities.

Someone once told me that homeschooling got a lot easier when they realized that “you can’t ruin a student overnight”, that education is something you are giving your child over the course of 18 years. It is natural for me to dream big and make all these plans of things we could do for school and then to fret over the things that we don’t have time for or that don’t work out as expected. Instead I’ve learned to “hope for the best but plan for the worst”. I see plans as a direction we start at or launch from and then I constantly monitor and adjust as we go along. We dont’ have a “schedule”; we have a “routine”. We have a basic order of doing things with get up and go to bed times but how things progress in between is pretty unpredictable from day to day. We usually end up in a very different place than I expected. In the long run we are most successful when our activities are based on daily decisions rooted in our priorities and doing what is most important that day rather than striving to check off the most things possible on my “to do” list so I feel like a success.

I’m the “boss” but my decisions constantly adjust to accomodate the needs of my children or teachable moments or biological disasters or opportunities that just “pop” up. If after a few weeks of juggling multiple subjects someone is struggling in math—we do nothing but math for a week. If we hear about a really cool history speech contest, we ditch our regular curriculum and dig into researching, writing, memorizing and performing based on the life of a figure in history. If dad mentions how awful someone’s handwriting is looking, guess who gets a bunch of handwriting practice for the next few weeks?

Our most important resources are the public library, the internet, educational videos/tv programs, field trips, hobbies/clubs/sports/music/drama, etc., educational games and various curriculums that enable practice of basic skills like phonics, handwriting, grammar, math, etc. (That stuff is extremely boring to my kids so it’s helpful to have a variety of publishers so I can change the worksheets or approach to the practice of learning skills that are heavily rote.)

It also helps to accept that in many ways we are just plain “weird”. We have to do a lot of things differently than others, even compared to other Christian homeschooled friends. We’ve got a lot of people to mobilize or consider or accomodate, a very tight budget, limited space and privacy, constant decisions about doing for our own family or helping others, those who clean well outnumbered by those who make messes, and people who love to spend a lot of time talking, cuddling, listening to music, sharing anything humourous and reading together. Just the basics of housecleaning and “family time” take up a large part of our lives.

On the other hand, it’s never lonely—there is always someone to be an audience or lend a hand or listen to you, creativity abounds, our kids are pretty confident and willing to try new things at any age, the older ones have so much skill in caring for little ones and the younger ones have an advantage in having older kids to follow and look up to, my kids connect me to so many hobbies and people and ideas I would not otherwise experience, regular doses of humor and cuddling promotes great mental health, and between birthdays/holidays/accomplishments there is always something to celebrate.

It's a busy, demanding, exciting, very full and blessed life.

Your Home! I'm Home!

2008-11-18T03:10:00.003-07:00

So often the pace of our life in just trying to keep up with buying groceries, taking 11 people to doctor and dentist appointments, and going to church and outside school activities can take a lot of the HOME out of HOME Schooling.

It might be more accurate to say that I "Van School" some of my children. We take books for them to read while we are driving around doing errands or sitting in waiting rooms. We count things or look for letters in signs as we drive by. We sing songs, tell stories and talk about current events in the car.

I hope I "get points" for flexibility and determination to accomplish something academic on a daily basis, even as we are "on the go". But I am finding myself yearning for more hours, or--what a concept!--being home ALL day, for a change.

Our curly-headed 2 year old boy is an enthusiastic "people person". He is always eager to go places and is very sad when he is left home. Lately, he has started a pattern of meeting me at the door whenever I come home and throwing his arms open wide for a hug and shouting with joy, "You're home! You're home!" If he lucks out and Daddy takes him along on some errands he comes home and through the front door looking for me in a similar manner but saying "I'm home! I'm home!"

In both instances, it is so good to sweep him up for a hug, carry him to the couch and studiously cuddle and talk and "hang out" home schooling. What a good reminder that a key ingredient is simply prioritizing time to just interact with our children and enjoy some focused time with them at HOME.

Warning: Naked & Unfunny

2008-09-05T00:38:00.001-07:00

Here's the very "unglamourous", weak human side to being open to God pouring out blessings and He does and you have 9 children on one income...

Financially, things have never been more difficult to manage in our 20 years of marriage. The only "good" news is that our mortgage is our only debt and we live on a cash basis without credit cards. That is a system we are pretty comfortable with when we have an "emergency" savings account. Unfortunately we are in one of those phases where the emergency fund is gone. And the problem now is the amount of money coming in and the basics of mortgage, food, utilities, insurance, prescriptions and gas is only a couple hundred dollars a month different. That means less than $400 a month for 11 people to go to the doctor, buy clothes/shoes, car repairs/maintance, fix things that break around the house, birthdays, Christmas, gifts or cards for extended family and friends, school curriculum, field trips, charitable giving, photo developing, household goods, pool chemicals, eating out or concerts or family outings, or camp or church activities, hair styling, dentist co pays, vacation, etc. You get the picture.

No, it doesn't begin to spread far enough to cover what seems like "basic needs". And it can be really nail biting when an emergency arises that requires money to fix it.

I really don't want to sound complaining but rather concerned. That's what I've taken to God the past year--"How are we supposed to manage like this? Please help us increase our income."

We have muddled through and somehow we are hobbling along. Our older kids/teens are used to being "the poor kids" at church or in social situations but this is a little beyond that. I am thankful at how good their attitudes are and how supportive they are when they have to wait for things on the grocery list or shoes or clothes. In the past week when I've apologized for that, 2 different kids have said, "It's okay. We have what is really important." or something encouraging like that.

We also have had people generously give us hand-me-downs of clothes and furniture and household goods. We have had gifts of money here and there. We have had unique opportunities to get free food or products. We use coupons and discount days and comparison shop for everything from milk to computer printers. We live with mounting broken stuff and house and cars needing repairs and delays in buying basic stuff and find a new way to dry clothes or get drinking water or reuse stuff or buy it used or get from place to place.

I'm thankful for the fact that we've "made it this far".

I am also tired of the struggle and waiting in faith for it all.

And I still ask for it to get a whole lot easier.

I've been especially preoccupied and persistent in asking God for relief from financial stress this past week.

Guess what the daily Scriptures have been that are delivered to my email box for the past few days?

Thursday 9/4/2008

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

~ Matthew 6:33, NLT

Wednesday 9/3/2008

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life...

~ 2 Peter 1:3, NLT

Sunday 8/31/2008

Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."

~ Hebrews 13:5, NLT

Hmm. I guess it's time to stop whining and just trust Him for stuff. And focus even more on that being thankful and giving Him credit part.

Okay...

Open Mouth, Insert Pixie Stick

2008-07-29T04:57:00.001-07:00

Well, I've "done it now"...I sent an email to my state homeschooling organization and kind of "put it out there" that I'm available to give a humorous talk at next year's homeschooling convention. I just had a feeling that if I didn't ask I'd be pestered by thoughts that I should have tried.

The first time I had the idea to do an encouraging, stand up routine about homeschooling, I thought it was a result of watching too many episodes of "Seinfeld". (Not really; I don't really watch that show.) Then after the tide of my crazy life flowed out and the thought came to mind again in the temporary quiet, I thought maybe I just have a terrible need to get out and talk to adults more often and I'm willing to humiliate myself for a laugh. Is that brave? Or a little unbalanced?

Honestly, I think it's more a matter of empathy. I've had times where I've dipped so low that I feel I am in over my head and have no business trying to do this vitally important task of rearing, training and teaching these precious little people. A day will go totally awry and I'll be so frustrated or embarrassed or stressed and one of them will say the funniest thing or the difficulties seem so absurd that I will laugh and I just start to feel better.

We have a notebook where we keep journal entries of concerns about each individual child and ideas to solve them and a hope that writing it down somewhere will reinforce acting on those ideas.

One of the recent ones was a concern that my only introverted daughter, aged 5 (also 1 of 2 introverted children in our family of 9) is extremely verbal with siblings her height or below or in her pretend play but not in expressing her opinions to actual people 4 feet or taller, family or not. So I developed the idea of "Pixie Stick Therapy".

Sounds brilliant you say? (oh, you mumbled what an idiot...of course you didn't mean it...so...uh...where was I...)

Pixie Stick Therapy was a result of my having leftover pixie sticks from our Valentine's Skating Party hidden in the cupboard where not even my 12 year olds sugar radar could detect them. My idea was that Tammie might overcome her reluctance to assert herself for a bribe.

I pulled her aside and explained that she is smart and has good ideas but she should work on speaking up when she needs something or has something to say. To help her with this goal, I committed to giving her a pixie stick every day that she came to me without any prompting and asked me, in a loud clear voice, if she may have one.

I was pleased when it appeared on/off that this program was working and my daughter would actually remember and ask for her daily pixie stick. I was hopeful that this isolated exercise would translate to confidence in expressing herself without the reward.

Like the day shortly after when Tammie had wandered over to her dad, audibly sniffed and said, "boy, you smell like poop." (No, Gilbert's not a veternarian and yes, he does bathe.) There was a stinky baby near him just minutes before who had, at that moment, inconveniently disappeared. She flounced off before he could explain.

At first he was flabbergasted. Then we both burst out laughing.

At those times, I realize I'm taking some things way too seriously. And my ridiculous adult preoccupations with perfect math scores or spotless baseboards are not helping but choosing to have a good attitude just might. I'd like to promote the idea that homeschooling can be really enjoyable for us and our kids if we don't get too uptight about it. It's so sad when I hear someone has quit because they thought it was just too stressful.

Anyhow, pray this only works out if I'm "supposed" to talk and it would be encouraging. If it is a dumb idea, at least it will be "out of my system" rather than something I regret not trying. I'm happy to just go along encouraging moms one-to-one and keeping a little dignity that there are more people out there who DON'T know the inside scoop about my husband, the "poop", than there will be if I share stories on stage at next summer's convention.

Pray, Eat, Shower

2008-06-25T16:18:00.003-07:00

Okay, I'm stretched so many ways, trying to get urgent phone calls, emails and various household chores "caught up" after being out of town twice in a month.

Do you want to know the truth?

The kids are "squirrelly" and "high maintenance" and I am tearing out my hair trying to get things done. I am also sitting here stinky and hungry because I can't seem to break away from the onslaught of crises to take a shower and eat breakfast. It's 4:18 pm in the afternoon; I got up at 9. No joke.

Here's a Scripture that just caught my attention in my 500+ email inbox:

"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."

~ Romans 12:12, NLT

Probably just what I need to hear and put into practice to get back to some sanity...
Dawn

A Nice Mother's Day

2008-05-11T21:23:00.001-07:00

It's been a nice Mother's Day. Gilbert had the kids write (or dictate) a favorite memory or what they like about me. He typed them all up, put graphics on each page and bound it in a report cover. It's really precious.

I got a few gifts that I had requested earlier in the year. A DVD series on Travelling the US by train. I love trains and have yeared to ride Amtrak since I was 4 and still hoping to before I die. When I heard about the DVD series I thought that vicarious train travel would tide me over nicely in the meantime. He also got me a DVD series of Agatha Christie movies (with the dectective Hecules Poiroit). The 3rd gift was the updated "Joy of Cooking". That was my favorite cookbook when I was in Jr./Sr. High and living with my parents. I've wanted my own copy ever since. They recently updated it---a bonus!

This was very loving of Gilbert to take note and buy things I've asked for; growing up, his dad always came up with very creative, cutting edge electronics or tremendously expensive gifts for his mom. It's taken a long time to convince Gilbert that neither of those types of gifts says "I love you" to me---expensive things mean I have to be totally stressed trying to eek out groceries and necessities to make up for him spending too much and surprise gifts are not always things I like or can use and there are plenty of things I notice or wish for that I will never or can't buy for myself.

I also got to take a 2 hour nap.

We are going to play a new family board game once the 2 little guys are put to bed shortly. (Gilbert had to go to bed because he works very early tomorrow but I am looking forward to a nice time with the oldest 6 kids.)

It's good to be a mom!

Pure Love

2008-04-05T23:31:00.001-07:00

Parenting can be the most draining job frequently with not a lot of confirmation that you’re on the "right track" or that you are the role model you ought to be and these little people live right in your armpit and SEE EVERYTHING!

Today I asked Micah to please get me a diaper for the baby.

His response: "Okay. I will get the diaper. Not for me. For the baby. I’m doing it for the baby." and he had the most purposeful, content demeanor. I know what he meant was that he didn’t want to and he wasn’t doing it to just not "get in trouble" with mom.

He was doing it for the baby. (3 months old) The helpless, kinda boring but sweet tiny person in our house. HIS baby as he says sometimes; the one he might be a little rough with at times but whom he LOVES.

It HAD to be RED

2008-03-04T23:38:00.001-07:00

Today Mikey was ill (throwing up & diahrea) and Gilbert needed to buy gatorade. I was asking the 3 year old if he wanted yellow or orange or blue. As I waited for the Mikey to answer, Dad chimed in (trying to be helpful) with "Or RED". I looked at my husband like,"What are you thinking?" and actually said, "You mean the RED that stains everthing so well." Gilbert looked a little sheepish and said he meant to be "helping" and thought I forgot that there was a red flavor. He didn’t guess the omission was intentional. He started laughing in embarrassment and of course, Mikey DID choose RED. It was one of those days where you deliberately choose your precious little guy over protecting the carpet and to be thankful for a spirit of helpfulness rather than demanding perfection. When my husband got home with the RED gatorade, together we laughed at the irony that the one kind we didn't want to be picked, the boy picked. I put a bucket and rag on "stand by".

And the answer is...

2007-08-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

It's a BOY!

Ultra Sonido

2007-08-21T11:41:00.005-07:00

Ultra Sound in English sort of falls out of your mouth like a brick, but in Spanish---"ultra sonido"...doesn't that sound like poetry?

Today is my intensive ultrasound where we get to peek at all those amazing little baby parts and maybe even find out if it's "she" or "he". This is probably my favorite day of being pregnant. Someday I'm going to spring for one of those 3D picture packages where they photograph your baby in the womb...

With our first pregnancy we debated for a couple weeks beforehand whether we were going to try to find out the sex of the baby or not. Okay, it wasn't really a debate. Gilbert just matter of factly stated that "of course I want to know". I was tortured by wanting to know and feeling like it was "cheating" to know ahead of time. What about the centuries of women who had to wait and find out before they passed out from the pain of childbirth or once they were revived a day or two after? What if I got really comfortable with the idea of it being a boy or girl and then 4 months later---BIG SHOCK! Oops! Little "Jane" was "Jim" or vice versa. I really didn't have a wish of it being one sex or the other but if I had a vision of it being "sugar & spice" or "puppy dog tails" for so long, would my underlying expectations mess with the development of my child's identity?

So easy for Gilbert. When I started to rattle off these concerns, he just looked at me like I was speaking "Greek", sort of "shook it off" and then confidently said, "Yeah, Sure I want to find out." But he DID hear the hesitation and conflict in my voice so he suggested a "wise" compromise. My considerate husband said, "I will find out and promise not to tell you until the baby's born." My turn to look at him with a stare of incredulity that said, "Are you crazy?" What I actually said was more along the lines of "Right. Like you are going to know and I'm not?" He just shrugged. We took a peek and found out our first born was a boy. Wow. We had 4months to dream about all the things a son might do or be. And no more "the baby" this or "he/she" that---we referred to him by name and when we actually met him he was not a total stranger.

By the time I was pregnant with number 4, the thing we look forward to most was that ultrasound and finding out that key part of getting to know our newest family member before he? she? was even born. We ohh-ed and ahh-ed at each little perfectly formed part. We were like "Oh! The fluttery little heart!" and "There's the head!" and "What cute little toes." Our OB smiled because he knew we "had a thing for babies" like he did. Then he confirmed, "You want to know what sex the baby is if I can tell, right?" Yep. He was right; for us this was "business as usual", round 4. He moved the wand around, jiggled it a little and then said, "Hmm. You've got a modest one here. Sorry. I can't tell." We were both shocked! What! We had to go home with "the baby" and not know if this was little "Lily" or little "Joel"? He tried to reassure us that it wasn't a big deal; we'll just do another ultrasound next month to peek and see if we can tell then. HUMPH. I wasn't a happy camper but willing to be patient.

Gilbert made the effort to come to my next month's appointment simply because we were both so excited to find out if we were having a 4th boy or our first girl. It didn't matter which, we just wanted to start calling the baby by his/her name. Oh! This is not so bad. We get to see all those perfect little baby parts a second time because of the little problem of modest baby last month. Gilbert was on the edge of his seat; I was craning my neck toward the monitor like a mamma goose. And...it's...a...hmmmm. I'm now almost 7 months pregnant and HE CAN'T TELL! The baby is kind of sleepy and all curled up and it's just not possible to get a strategic angle. (I'm secretly thinking I wish I'd brought some ice to rub on my tummy and wake up the little darling.) We left the doctor's office pretty bummed and in desperate need of a hot fudge sundae.

It's a good thing we've developed a rapport with our doctor after going to him for 4 pregnancies. At least he was willing to take ANOTHER look about 6 weeks before the baby popped out, rather than pushing us into doing something so old fashioned like WAIT until the BIRTH to find out the sex of our child. This IS the 21st century, right?

Guess what! It was a GIRL! The 3rd try, Dr. Rockwell admitted that he suspected so because it's a lot harder to see something there than be confident something is not. In hindsight, this experience was a turning point. From that point on, when they couldn't tell the sex of the baby in the 5 month ulrasound---we guessed correctly it was another girl; all our boys were easy to identify with that first mid-pregnancy screeening.

Really the most important thing for us is that the baby looks healthy and we get to see the marvelous handiwork of God. (such a "pick-me-up" when I'm feeling exhausted and gigantic.) But we are human and tied to our concrete senses. Though we are mentally convinced life begins at conception, we can't really begin to know our new little person until we know him or her by name.

Who's coming to live with us this time? Brandon or Abigail? We'll let you know.

Late Even Then?

2007-08-09T05:08:00.002-07:00

Gilbert said that if he outlives me he is going to arrange to have my body wheeled in to the funeral 20 minutes late as a joke. I don't want to do the body-at-the-service thing so that might put a cramp in his plans...I told him he could set up a photo of me 20 min. late or start a video (if I ever make one) of me addressing people at my funeral (We had a pastor who died of cancer and his video was the thing I enjoyed the most---One last time to see him and hear his thoughts and humor... )

Plus I'd love to have a full choir sing and maybe a band---now what significant thing do I need to accomplish to warrant/earn that? I also thought it would be neat if the reception after the service all the odds n ends of party goods I have (napkins from my wedding/plates from kiddie b'days, etc.) were used for refreshments. For my kids I would hope some of those would bring back some of the best memories---themed birthday parties, special events, etc. I would love it if people went home feeling just a little odd because it seemed more like a party than a "funeral". I hope my life ends up being a reason to celebrate that I was here, my last opportunity to share my favorite things and near/dear thoughts rather than mourning the "what ifs" or apathy or a gossipy gawk fest. If I get hit by a Mack truck unexpectedly the whole thing will probably not come together unless I task Ann with it now....hmmm....

We Often "Intersect"---Nate Huss, Noah & Me

2007-08-09T05:08:00.001-07:00

I want to share the story/music of Nate Huss, a young man new to the Christian music scene. I love his music and find the message to be really encouraging. http://www.natehuss.com/

My family lived down the street from the Husses while I was in High School. I babysat Nate, Gabe & Joel---the 3 youngest Husses a few times. Nate was actually the baby. My brothers played at their house several times a week for 2 years and then visited often when they were in town after they moved to Lake Havasu.

What is even neater about this "small world" connection is the influence that Nate's mom, Sylvia, had on me as a mom. She was a great role model of a loving, Godly mom with high expectations of her children. When we had 4 or 5 kids I called her up (after several years of not being in touch) and asked if she would be willing to come over to my house and talk to me about being a mother of a large family. (I also talked to another mom I knew casually who had around 7 children at the time to get a picture of what her life and thoughts were.) Sylvia was really kind to share about her life experiences and the challenges, blessings and vision that go with having a house "full".

Gilbert and I didn't "decide" to have "X" number of children (or more than "X") after I talked to him about what these ladies shared with me. We were just feeling convicted to leave the door open to having more and not ready to decide we were "done" having kids. To talk to a woman in the next season of life, someone who "survived" raising 8 really great kids was encouraging that if we had more---it could be worthwhile & fulfilling; if we didn't/couldn't, we had plenty to keep busy and we'd never wonder if we "should have" or "would have" liked to have more children. We could stop all the crazy attempts to "plan" our family which just never seemed to go as expected and was really stressful. (And I didn't have to agonize/feel irresponsible over hating feeling sick on birth control.)

The "funny" thing is that when I stumbled across Nate's music/bio a month ago, my brother, Gene, ran into Nate's brother, Dan, while they were both out of town. Brandon encouraged me to check out Nate's music/web site. About this time I was dreading telling people that I am pregnant AGAIN.

"Yes, I think we've figured out what causes 'that'."
"Yes, I would love to have complete control over my own body & drop 50 lbs. so I could feel pleased when I look in the mirror." (How embarrassing to admit my vanity.)
"Yes, money is tight, time and energy always seem taxed, our house is feeling a little crowded, getting out the door to go places feels like launching a military campaign, I don't think my faith in God's provision will ever extend to feeling like I personally (as a mom) am doing enough/the right things for my children" etc., etc.
"No, I don't know how we do 'it' (life) either." To be really honest, I have to ask God to help me not have a panic attack when I think of how everything is going to "work" come January when the baby gets here.

But Nate Huss' message/ministry helped me dream and be delighted to be pregnant---what a neat 8th kid he is! What will our 8th and 9th be like in the course of their lifetimes? If they even do one special thing---creative, helping others, good example, have children, ??---we will be so thankful we were willing to be a part of God's plan for that child's life. And my worst nightmare is the loss of any one of the children we already have. I didn't "run out of" love/wonder/thankfulness for any of them so far.

Since I've become a Christian, at different stages in my life, I feel like I've identified with my understanding or conjecture of the lives of various "characters" in the Bible.

In the last few years I often empathize with Noah & his wife. Building a ginormous boat in the middle of the desert, in a culture that seemed extremely "non nautical", with hundreds of miles to the nearest shore, because "God told them too" makes me wonder if they felt a little of what I do.

Gilbert says he's the last person he'd expect to father any kids, let alone 9. But he's convinced he wouldn't have grown, leaned on God or learned a whole lot in life if he wasn't pushed and stretched by his desire to be a good dad (over most any other goal in his life). It really seems like teaching/caring for/loving 40 years of class fulls of kids or working at an orphanage overseas would have been "cake" for me--a temptation to run my own life with way too much pride/self-confidence. But the burden of being the mother/primary caretaker of 8 of my own dependents 24/7 pushes me continually to evaluate my choices based on long term/eternity goals vs. perfectionism and just wanting to "fit in and be normal" since my background was "anything but". Oh my goodness---I've now chosen to be "weird" and "unconventional" and give people a reason to worry about my sanity!

Isn't it so cool how God is all about diversity?

We know a couple who chose to foster/adopt their 5 kids rather than have their own biological children because so many children had a terrible family situation and needed a second chance at a loving family. I knew a couple who couldn't have children. They were so lovely to me and treated me like I was their granddaughter. They did this for several children at church who didn't have extended family or grandparents nearby. My foster mom, Beth, had one biological kid, opened her heart to a teenage girl, was willing to be grafted-in family for life to her and literally has poured out herself for high school/college kids as a teacher and is so sweet to classes and classes of toddlers at church where she volunteers. My "adopted" aunt & uncle raised 3 really wonderful kids. They put in full time hours now that they are "retired" interacting with/being supportive of their grown kids & grandkids & me & my kids and reaching out to children and adults in their neighborhood through hosting small group, a teen club & a "Christmas Carol Club".

So I actually believe we aren't "weird", we are just evidence of His creativity and the freedom Christians have to live so many variations of lifestyles. We're the ones He offered the position of "homeschooling parents with lots of very active & social kids".

And with all the work and stress and insecurity and mess and laundry and lost shoes and a crazy calendar comes some incredible perks.

It's hard to remember a day without multiple hugs & kisses & "I love you mommy/mom". I am constantly amazed at the wonder of child development and the excitement of looking forward to what they will learn or do next. I can't remember very many days of boredom or loneliness. David and I both treasure the birth days of each of our children and marvel every time at what a miracle it is and how exciting to meet this precious new little person together. So many funny things are said and done by our kids. So many times they teach us things or share their thoughts or goals or stories or ideas or big questions about life with us and I am so perfectly "at home" and content to listen or discuss or share in their lives. Each child is so unique---it's like the best summer novel to watch the story of their lives unfold. When they struggle in one area and finally grow up or out of it, when they do something sacrificial or giving for a sibling or a friend or a stranger, when they strive to do well at something---I am so lucky to have a front row seat.

I hope it helps you understand why we are open to having a large family, grateful for prayers and support as we do, insecure and wanting so hard to "get it right" and honor God in the process, and willing to run a marathon-style life that requires so much time/energy/sleep deprivation/commitment, etc.

I hope you can share our joy and excitement at expecting another baby girl or boy January 18, 2008.

Oh, and another funny coincidence. Nate Huss was placed in his family by the same agency that placed me in foster care with the people I call parents 25 years later.

Small World.