I think the most important ingredients we’ve had to have to homeschool a big family are dependence on God,
a passionate love for each child,
age appropriately disciplined children, flexibility,
and a balance between family needs and individual opportunities.
Someone once told me that homeschooling got a lot easier when they realized that “you can’t ruin a student overnight”, that education is something you are giving your child over the course of 18 years. It is natural for me to dream big and make all these plans of things we could do for school and then to fret over the things that we don’t have time for or that don’t work out as expected. Instead I’ve learned to “hope for the best but plan for the worst”. I see plans as a direction we start at or launch from and then I constantly monitor and adjust as we go along. We dont’ have a “schedule”; we have a “routine”. We have a basic order of doing things with get up and go to bed times but how things progress in between is pretty unpredictable from day to day. We usually end up in a very different place than I expected. In the long run we are most successful when our activities are based on daily decisions rooted in our priorities and doing what is most important that day rather than striving to check off the most things possible on my “to do” list so I feel like a success.
I’m the “boss” but my decisions constantly adjust to accomodate the needs of my children or teachable moments or biological disasters or opportunities that just “pop” up. If after a few weeks of juggling multiple subjects someone is struggling in math—we do nothing but math for a week. If we hear about a really cool history speech contest, we ditch our regular curriculum and dig into researching, writing, memorizing and performing based on the life of a figure in history. If dad mentions how awful someone’s handwriting is looking, guess who gets a bunch of handwriting practice for the next few weeks?
Our most important resources are the public library, the internet, educational videos/tv programs, field trips, hobbies/clubs/sports/music/drama, etc., educational games and various curriculums that enable practice of basic skills like phonics, handwriting, grammar, math, etc. (That stuff is extremely boring to my kids so it’s helpful to have a variety of publishers so I can change the worksheets or approach to the practice of learning skills that are heavily rote.)
It also helps to accept that in many ways we are just plain “weird”. We have to do a lot of things differently than others, even compared to other Christian homeschooled friends. We’ve got a lot of people to mobilize or consider or accomodate, a very tight budget, limited space and privacy, constant decisions about doing for our own family or helping others, those who clean well outnumbered by those who make messes, and people who love to spend a lot of time talking, cuddling, listening to music, sharing anything humourous and reading together. Just the basics of housecleaning and “family time” take up a large part of our lives.
On the other hand, it’s never lonely—there is always someone to be an audience or lend a hand or listen to you, creativity abounds, our kids are pretty confident and willing to try new things at any age, the older ones have so much skill in caring for little ones and the younger ones have an advantage in having older kids to follow and look up to, my kids connect me to so many hobbies and people and ideas I would not otherwise experience, regular doses of humor and cuddling promotes great mental health, and between birthdays/holidays/accomplishments there is always something to celebrate.
It's a busy, demanding, exciting, very full and blessed life.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Your Home! I'm Home!
So often the pace of our life in just trying to keep up with buying groceries, taking 11 people to doctor and dentist appointments, and going to church and outside school activities can take a lot of the HOME out of HOME Schooling.
It might be more accurate to say that I "Van School" some of my children. We take books for them to read while we are driving around doing errands or sitting in waiting rooms. We count things or look for letters in signs as we drive by. We sing songs, tell stories and talk about current events in the car.
I hope I "get points" for flexibility and determination to accomplish something academic on a daily basis, even as we are "on the go". But I am finding myself yearning for more hours, or--what a concept!--being home ALL day, for a change.
Our curly-headed 2 year old boy is an enthusiastic "people person". He is always eager to go places and is very sad when he is left home. Lately, he has started a pattern of meeting me at the door whenever I come home and throwing his arms open wide for a hug and shouting with joy, "You're home! You're home!" If he lucks out and Daddy takes him along on some errands he comes home and through the front door looking for me in a similar manner but saying "I'm home! I'm home!"
In both instances, it is so good to sweep him up for a hug, carry him to the couch and studiously cuddle and talk and "hang out" home schooling. What a good reminder that a key ingredient is simply prioritizing time to just interact with our children and enjoy some focused time with them at HOME.
It might be more accurate to say that I "Van School" some of my children. We take books for them to read while we are driving around doing errands or sitting in waiting rooms. We count things or look for letters in signs as we drive by. We sing songs, tell stories and talk about current events in the car.
I hope I "get points" for flexibility and determination to accomplish something academic on a daily basis, even as we are "on the go". But I am finding myself yearning for more hours, or--what a concept!--being home ALL day, for a change.
Our curly-headed 2 year old boy is an enthusiastic "people person". He is always eager to go places and is very sad when he is left home. Lately, he has started a pattern of meeting me at the door whenever I come home and throwing his arms open wide for a hug and shouting with joy, "You're home! You're home!" If he lucks out and Daddy takes him along on some errands he comes home and through the front door looking for me in a similar manner but saying "I'm home! I'm home!"
In both instances, it is so good to sweep him up for a hug, carry him to the couch and studiously cuddle and talk and "hang out" home schooling. What a good reminder that a key ingredient is simply prioritizing time to just interact with our children and enjoy some focused time with them at HOME.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Warning: Naked & Unfunny
Here's the very "unglamourous", weak human side to being open to God pouring out blessings and He does and you have 9 children on one income...
Financially, things have never been more difficult to manage in our 20 years of marriage. The only "good" news is that our mortgage is our only debt and we live on a cash basis without credit cards. That is a system we are pretty comfortable with when we have an "emergency" savings account. Unfortunately we are in one of those phases where the emergency fund is gone. And the problem now is the amount of money coming in and the basics of mortgage, food, utilities, insurance, prescriptions and gas is only a couple hundred dollars a month different. That means less than $400 a month for 11 people to go to the doctor, buy clothes/shoes, car repairs/maintance, fix things that break around the house, birthdays, Christmas, gifts or cards for extended family and friends, school curriculum, field trips, charitable giving, photo developing, household goods, pool chemicals, eating out or concerts or family outings, or camp or church activities, hair styling, dentist co pays, vacation, etc. You get the picture.
No, it doesn't begin to spread far enough to cover what seems like "basic needs". And it can be really nail biting when an emergency arises that requires money to fix it.
I really don't want to sound complaining but rather concerned. That's what I've taken to God the past year--"How are we supposed to manage like this? Please help us increase our income."
We have muddled through and somehow we are hobbling along. Our older kids/teens are used to being "the poor kids" at church or in social situations but this is a little beyond that. I am thankful at how good their attitudes are and how supportive they are when they have to wait for things on the grocery list or shoes or clothes. In the past week when I've apologized for that, 2 different kids have said, "It's okay. We have what is really important." or something encouraging like that.
We also have had people generously give us hand-me-downs of clothes and furniture and household goods. We have had gifts of money here and there. We have had unique opportunities to get free food or products. We use coupons and discount days and comparison shop for everything from milk to computer printers. We live with mounting broken stuff and house and cars needing repairs and delays in buying basic stuff and find a new way to dry clothes or get drinking water or reuse stuff or buy it used or get from place to place.
I'm thankful for the fact that we've "made it this far".
I am also tired of the struggle and waiting in faith for it all.
And I still ask for it to get a whole lot easier.
I've been especially preoccupied and persistent in asking God for relief from financial stress this past week.
Guess what the daily Scriptures have been that are delivered to my email box for the past few days?
Thursday 9/4/2008
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
~ Matthew 6:33, NLT
Wednesday 9/3/2008
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life...
~ 2 Peter 1:3, NLT
Sunday 8/31/2008
Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."
~ Hebrews 13:5, NLT
Hmm. I guess it's time to stop whining and just trust Him for stuff. And focus even more on that being thankful and giving Him credit part.
Okay...
Financially, things have never been more difficult to manage in our 20 years of marriage. The only "good" news is that our mortgage is our only debt and we live on a cash basis without credit cards. That is a system we are pretty comfortable with when we have an "emergency" savings account. Unfortunately we are in one of those phases where the emergency fund is gone. And the problem now is the amount of money coming in and the basics of mortgage, food, utilities, insurance, prescriptions and gas is only a couple hundred dollars a month different. That means less than $400 a month for 11 people to go to the doctor, buy clothes/shoes, car repairs/maintance, fix things that break around the house, birthdays, Christmas, gifts or cards for extended family and friends, school curriculum, field trips, charitable giving, photo developing, household goods, pool chemicals, eating out or concerts or family outings, or camp or church activities, hair styling, dentist co pays, vacation, etc. You get the picture.
No, it doesn't begin to spread far enough to cover what seems like "basic needs". And it can be really nail biting when an emergency arises that requires money to fix it.
I really don't want to sound complaining but rather concerned. That's what I've taken to God the past year--"How are we supposed to manage like this? Please help us increase our income."
We have muddled through and somehow we are hobbling along. Our older kids/teens are used to being "the poor kids" at church or in social situations but this is a little beyond that. I am thankful at how good their attitudes are and how supportive they are when they have to wait for things on the grocery list or shoes or clothes. In the past week when I've apologized for that, 2 different kids have said, "It's okay. We have what is really important." or something encouraging like that.
We also have had people generously give us hand-me-downs of clothes and furniture and household goods. We have had gifts of money here and there. We have had unique opportunities to get free food or products. We use coupons and discount days and comparison shop for everything from milk to computer printers. We live with mounting broken stuff and house and cars needing repairs and delays in buying basic stuff and find a new way to dry clothes or get drinking water or reuse stuff or buy it used or get from place to place.
I'm thankful for the fact that we've "made it this far".
I am also tired of the struggle and waiting in faith for it all.
And I still ask for it to get a whole lot easier.
I've been especially preoccupied and persistent in asking God for relief from financial stress this past week.
Guess what the daily Scriptures have been that are delivered to my email box for the past few days?
Thursday 9/4/2008
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
~ Matthew 6:33, NLT
Wednesday 9/3/2008
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life...
~ 2 Peter 1:3, NLT
Sunday 8/31/2008
Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."
~ Hebrews 13:5, NLT
Hmm. I guess it's time to stop whining and just trust Him for stuff. And focus even more on that being thankful and giving Him credit part.
Okay...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Open Mouth, Insert Pixie Stick
Well, I've "done it now"...I sent an email to my state homeschooling organization and kind of "put it out there" that I'm available to give a humorous talk at next year's homeschooling convention. I just had a feeling that if I didn't ask I'd be pestered by thoughts that I should have tried.
The first time I had the idea to do an encouraging, stand up routine about homeschooling, I thought it was a result of watching too many episodes of "Seinfeld". (Not really; I don't really watch that show.) Then after the tide of my crazy life flowed out and the thought came to mind again in the temporary quiet, I thought maybe I just have a terrible need to get out and talk to adults more often and I'm willing to humiliate myself for a laugh. Is that brave? Or a little unbalanced?
Honestly, I think it's more a matter of empathy. I've had times where I've dipped so low that I feel I am in over my head and have no business trying to do this vitally important task of rearing, training and teaching these precious little people. A day will go totally awry and I'll be so frustrated or embarrassed or stressed and one of them will say the funniest thing or the difficulties seem so absurd that I will laugh and I just start to feel better.
We have a notebook where we keep journal entries of concerns about each individual child and ideas to solve them and a hope that writing it down somewhere will reinforce acting on those ideas.
One of the recent ones was a concern that my only introverted daughter, aged 5 (also 1 of 2 introverted children in our family of 9) is extremely verbal with siblings her height or below or in her pretend play but not in expressing her opinions to actual people 4 feet or taller, family or not. So I developed the idea of "Pixie Stick Therapy".
Sounds brilliant you say? (oh, you mumbled what an idiot...of course you didn't mean it...so...uh...where was I...)
Pixie Stick Therapy was a result of my having leftover pixie sticks from our Valentine's Skating Party hidden in the cupboard where not even my 12 year olds sugar radar could detect them. My idea was that Tammie might overcome her reluctance to assert herself for a bribe.
I pulled her aside and explained that she is smart and has good ideas but she should work on speaking up when she needs something or has something to say. To help her with this goal, I committed to giving her a pixie stick every day that she came to me without any prompting and asked me, in a loud clear voice, if she may have one.
I was pleased when it appeared on/off that this program was working and my daughter would actually remember and ask for her daily pixie stick. I was hopeful that this isolated exercise would translate to confidence in expressing herself without the reward.
Like the day shortly after when Tammie had wandered over to her dad, audibly sniffed and said, "boy, you smell like poop." (No, Gilbert's not a veternarian and yes, he does bathe.) There was a stinky baby near him just minutes before who had, at that moment, inconveniently disappeared. She flounced off before he could explain.
At first he was flabbergasted. Then we both burst out laughing.
At those times, I realize I'm taking some things way too seriously. And my ridiculous adult preoccupations with perfect math scores or spotless baseboards are not helping but choosing to have a good attitude just might. I'd like to promote the idea that homeschooling can be really enjoyable for us and our kids if we don't get too uptight about it. It's so sad when I hear someone has quit because they thought it was just too stressful.
Anyhow, pray this only works out if I'm "supposed" to talk and it would be encouraging. If it is a dumb idea, at least it will be "out of my system" rather than something I regret not trying. I'm happy to just go along encouraging moms one-to-one and keeping a little dignity that there are more people out there who DON'T know the inside scoop about my husband, the "poop", than there will be if I share stories on stage at next summer's convention.
The first time I had the idea to do an encouraging, stand up routine about homeschooling, I thought it was a result of watching too many episodes of "Seinfeld". (Not really; I don't really watch that show.) Then after the tide of my crazy life flowed out and the thought came to mind again in the temporary quiet, I thought maybe I just have a terrible need to get out and talk to adults more often and I'm willing to humiliate myself for a laugh. Is that brave? Or a little unbalanced?
Honestly, I think it's more a matter of empathy. I've had times where I've dipped so low that I feel I am in over my head and have no business trying to do this vitally important task of rearing, training and teaching these precious little people. A day will go totally awry and I'll be so frustrated or embarrassed or stressed and one of them will say the funniest thing or the difficulties seem so absurd that I will laugh and I just start to feel better.
We have a notebook where we keep journal entries of concerns about each individual child and ideas to solve them and a hope that writing it down somewhere will reinforce acting on those ideas.
One of the recent ones was a concern that my only introverted daughter, aged 5 (also 1 of 2 introverted children in our family of 9) is extremely verbal with siblings her height or below or in her pretend play but not in expressing her opinions to actual people 4 feet or taller, family or not. So I developed the idea of "Pixie Stick Therapy".
Sounds brilliant you say? (oh, you mumbled what an idiot...of course you didn't mean it...so...uh...where was I...)
Pixie Stick Therapy was a result of my having leftover pixie sticks from our Valentine's Skating Party hidden in the cupboard where not even my 12 year olds sugar radar could detect them. My idea was that Tammie might overcome her reluctance to assert herself for a bribe.
I pulled her aside and explained that she is smart and has good ideas but she should work on speaking up when she needs something or has something to say. To help her with this goal, I committed to giving her a pixie stick every day that she came to me without any prompting and asked me, in a loud clear voice, if she may have one.
I was pleased when it appeared on/off that this program was working and my daughter would actually remember and ask for her daily pixie stick. I was hopeful that this isolated exercise would translate to confidence in expressing herself without the reward.
Like the day shortly after when Tammie had wandered over to her dad, audibly sniffed and said, "boy, you smell like poop." (No, Gilbert's not a veternarian and yes, he does bathe.) There was a stinky baby near him just minutes before who had, at that moment, inconveniently disappeared. She flounced off before he could explain.
At first he was flabbergasted. Then we both burst out laughing.
At those times, I realize I'm taking some things way too seriously. And my ridiculous adult preoccupations with perfect math scores or spotless baseboards are not helping but choosing to have a good attitude just might. I'd like to promote the idea that homeschooling can be really enjoyable for us and our kids if we don't get too uptight about it. It's so sad when I hear someone has quit because they thought it was just too stressful.
Anyhow, pray this only works out if I'm "supposed" to talk and it would be encouraging. If it is a dumb idea, at least it will be "out of my system" rather than something I regret not trying. I'm happy to just go along encouraging moms one-to-one and keeping a little dignity that there are more people out there who DON'T know the inside scoop about my husband, the "poop", than there will be if I share stories on stage at next summer's convention.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Pray, Eat, Shower
Okay, I'm stretched so many ways, trying to get urgent phone calls, emails and various household chores "caught up" after being out of town twice in a month.
Do you want to know the truth?
The kids are "squirrelly" and "high maintenance" and I am tearing out my hair trying to get things done. I am also sitting here stinky and hungry because I can't seem to break away from the onslaught of crises to take a shower and eat breakfast. It's 4:18 pm in the afternoon; I got up at 9. No joke.
Here's a Scripture that just caught my attention in my 500+ email inbox:
"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."
~ Romans 12:12, NLT
Probably just what I need to hear and put into practice to get back to some sanity...
Dawn
Do you want to know the truth?
The kids are "squirrelly" and "high maintenance" and I am tearing out my hair trying to get things done. I am also sitting here stinky and hungry because I can't seem to break away from the onslaught of crises to take a shower and eat breakfast. It's 4:18 pm in the afternoon; I got up at 9. No joke.
Here's a Scripture that just caught my attention in my 500+ email inbox:
"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."
~ Romans 12:12, NLT
Probably just what I need to hear and put into practice to get back to some sanity...
Dawn
Sunday, May 11, 2008
A Nice Mother's Day
It's been a nice Mother's Day. Gilbert had the kids write (or dictate) a favorite memory or what they like about me. He typed them all up, put graphics on each page and bound it in a report cover. It's really precious.
I got a few gifts that I had requested earlier in the year. A DVD series on Travelling the US by train. I love trains and have yeared to ride Amtrak since I was 4 and still hoping to before I die. When I heard about the DVD series I thought that vicarious train travel would tide me over nicely in the meantime. He also got me a DVD series of Agatha Christie movies (with the dectective Hecules Poiroit). The 3rd gift was the updated "Joy of Cooking". That was my favorite cookbook when I was in Jr./Sr. High and living with my parents. I've wanted my own copy ever since. They recently updated it---a bonus!
This was very loving of Gilbert to take note and buy things I've asked for; growing up, his dad always came up with very creative, cutting edge electronics or tremendously expensive gifts for his mom. It's taken a long time to convince Gilbert that neither of those types of gifts says "I love you" to me---expensive things mean I have to be totally stressed trying to eek out groceries and necessities to make up for him spending too much and surprise gifts are not always things I like or can use and there are plenty of things I notice or wish for that I will never or can't buy for myself.
I also got to take a 2 hour nap.
We are going to play a new family board game once the 2 little guys are put to bed shortly. (Gilbert had to go to bed because he works very early tomorrow but I am looking forward to a nice time with the oldest 6 kids.)
It's good to be a mom!
I got a few gifts that I had requested earlier in the year. A DVD series on Travelling the US by train. I love trains and have yeared to ride Amtrak since I was 4 and still hoping to before I die. When I heard about the DVD series I thought that vicarious train travel would tide me over nicely in the meantime. He also got me a DVD series of Agatha Christie movies (with the dectective Hecules Poiroit). The 3rd gift was the updated "Joy of Cooking". That was my favorite cookbook when I was in Jr./Sr. High and living with my parents. I've wanted my own copy ever since. They recently updated it---a bonus!
This was very loving of Gilbert to take note and buy things I've asked for; growing up, his dad always came up with very creative, cutting edge electronics or tremendously expensive gifts for his mom. It's taken a long time to convince Gilbert that neither of those types of gifts says "I love you" to me---expensive things mean I have to be totally stressed trying to eek out groceries and necessities to make up for him spending too much and surprise gifts are not always things I like or can use and there are plenty of things I notice or wish for that I will never or can't buy for myself.
I also got to take a 2 hour nap.
We are going to play a new family board game once the 2 little guys are put to bed shortly. (Gilbert had to go to bed because he works very early tomorrow but I am looking forward to a nice time with the oldest 6 kids.)
It's good to be a mom!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Pure Love
Parenting can be the most draining job frequently with not a lot of confirmation that you’re on the "right track" or that you are the role model you ought to be and these little people live right in your armpit and SEE EVERYTHING!
Today I asked Micah to please get me a diaper for the baby.
His response: "Okay. I will get the diaper. Not for me. For the baby. I’m doing it for the baby." and he had the most purposeful, content demeanor. I know what he meant was that he didn’t want to and he wasn’t doing it to just not "get in trouble" with mom.
He was doing it for the baby. (3 months old) The helpless, kinda boring but sweet tiny person in our house. HIS baby as he says sometimes; the one he might be a little rough with at times but whom he LOVES.
Today I asked Micah to please get me a diaper for the baby.
His response: "Okay. I will get the diaper. Not for me. For the baby. I’m doing it for the baby." and he had the most purposeful, content demeanor. I know what he meant was that he didn’t want to and he wasn’t doing it to just not "get in trouble" with mom.
He was doing it for the baby. (3 months old) The helpless, kinda boring but sweet tiny person in our house. HIS baby as he says sometimes; the one he might be a little rough with at times but whom he LOVES.
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